-Isms: Views on life in rural America

Baseball, hot dogs and apple pie are considered All-American staples. Should ranch dressing be added to the list?

The condiment - oh, it’s more than a salad dressing - is an every-meal accessory for a couple of our grandkids.

Drizzle it on pizza? Check. Add dry ranch seasoning to oyster crackers for “squeaky snacks,” as my kids call the treat? Absolutely. Dip chicken strips and fries in a dollop or twenty? All the dang time.

Buy it by the gallon? Heck no, not in this house. (Dorothy, on the other hand, yes we do.) My kids, though ... I have a sneaking suspicion they own stock in Hidden Valley.

Sure, I’ll order ranch dressing for a salad or dip fries or rings of frings, but it has to be good ranch, not some cheap imitation knockoff like some bottled dressing brands.

Funny, I had the good versus bad ranch dressing discussion recently with friends.

IYKYK.

Contrary to popular belief, ranch dressing did not originate in Nebraska, although a native did come up with the concoction. Steve Henson’s creamy buttermilk dressing included cracked black pepper, dried herbs and garlic powder.

Henson and his wife lived in Alaska when he devised the recipe for what eventually became known as Hidden Valley Ranch. Eventually they moved to California and started a dude ranch, giving west coasters a glimpse at rural life. The ranch’s name should be obvious.

Now, ranch seems to be taking over the country. You can purchase ranch pretzels, ranch crackers, ranch popcorn, ranch edamame, ranch Doritos, ranch sunflower seeds, ranch Veggie Straws, ranch corn nuts. Even Gerber has resorted to ranch-flavored corn snacks for the little tykes.

I feel like I’m in a scene from “Forrest Gump,” only substituting “shrimp” with “ranch.”

Somewhere, though, a line must be drawn in the ranch powder. Seriously, would you use a ranch-flavored lip balm? For $18.99, a four-pack of ranch chap sticks can be yours.

I’m not sure when or why the fascination - or is it obsession - with ranch became a national pastime, but ranch is the king of condiments, the caesar of sauces, the tycoon of toppings.

Go ahead, dig in and enjoy an extra side. Just don’t double dip.