I Refuse To Be A Statistic

Describing life as a Marine Corps recruit, Jacob Hoffman said, "I was broke down mentally, physically and emotionally."

Hoffman shared his experiences as a member of the 2nd Battalion, 5th Regiment, based at Camp Pendleton, California, during a Memorial Day address at St. Dominic's Hall in Ewing.

"Once you step on the yellow footprints and walk through the door, you are no longer yourself," Hoffman said as he explained why recruits are trained to talk and think in third person. "You're either going to be a Marine or you're not."

For 13 weeks, Hoffman and fellow recruits were trained to be obedient to direct orders, discover values of honor, courage and commitment.

"If a Marine tells you he's going to do something, I promise you it's going to be done."

He trained as a rifleman at Camp San Mateo and said he realized the significance of being a Marine after wrapping a French fourragere in a sandbag, wrapped in duct tape, and running uphill, with the weight of the 50-pound package on his shoulders. At the top of the hill, he viewed crosses, with names of those who made the ultimate sacrifice, looking down at the camp.

He thought about the stories of each of the soliders listed on a cross.

"That's when it hit me. That's when I truly grasped what I signed up for. I signed up to protect my country, my family's freedom. I signed up to fight."

On the top of the hill, the Marines were told to cut open the sandbags and wear the fourragere. During World War I, France awarded the fourragere to Marines and sailors of the 5th and 6th Marine Regiments for heroism and bravery during battles of Belleau Wood, Soissons, and Chateau-Thierry.

Hoffman discussed the battles his fellow Marines personally face.

Three of his fellow corpsman - Quentin, Michael and Dallas - died by suicide.

"I asked myself, 'Why are my friends dying?'"

According to the Veterans of Foreign Wars, suicide among veterans in 2021, the most recent year data is available, was at 33.9%, a slight increase from 2020. Suicide is the second-leading cause of death for veterans under the age of 45.

Hoffman said he, too, has faced demons.

At the end of March 2022, Hoffman said he looked in the mirror and didn't recognize the person looking back.

"Food had no taste. I wasn't sleeping. The sleep I was getting, I'd wake up screaming. I weighed 125 pounds. I was distant from my family. I pushed my now-wife away," he said.

"I felt like I was alone and had no purpose. I asked myself why I was living. At that point, I realized I needed help."

Hoffman said he "swallowed my pride" and sought help from Veterans Affairs. He began attending multiple weekly counseling sessions.

"I refuse to be a statistic," Hoffman said.

"While I do not have the privilege of knowing anyone who died on the battlefield, I do know a lot of people who have died on the battlefield at home," he said.

Through counseling, Hoffman said he realized after a soldier's enlistment is complete, they are expected to return to normal.

"But there is no normal."

Hoffman found his purpose. He serves as a police officer in Vermillion, South Dakota.

"My focus has changed to keeping the town my 7-year-old daughter is growing up in safe."

He urged those in attendance to check in on veterans, especially those who are returning to civilian life.

Help is available by dialing 988, then press 1 or text 838255.