Know your value

Mike Donahue understands pressure teenagers face. The Massachusetts native grew up "in a dysfunctional home" and internalized the pain and pressure he felt.

Eventually, that led to a pattern of bullying, feeding his emotions with the devaluing of someone else.

After a stint in the U.S. Air Force and as a youth pastor in Colorado, Donahue, who now lives in Omaha, visits schools across the world, sharing a message about knowing one's worth.

Donahue addressed Summerland parents and patrons, Sunday, in an hour-long dialogue about pressures adolesents face today.

Donahue said the social part of attending church led to a shift in mindset.

"I didn't think I was worthy of changing my life or making good decisions," he said.

The bottom line: What you're doing isn't as important as why you are doing it.

"Nobody keeps telling you to do drugs, nobody tells you to cut your skin with something sharp, nobody tells you to bully another kid. There's a reason why you're doing it."

Every student faces judgment when they walk into school, "sometimes, really harsh."

Sometimes, the judgment begins on social media and continues in the hallways and classrooms at schools across the country.

An adolescent's social circle is expanded via social media. Make one mistake and it's captured everywhere.

When schools contact him about speaking with students, Donahue asks them to describe the student population.

"A lot of times they say they're apathethic. I don't believe that," he said. Apathy means, 'I don't care.' I think kids care a lot."

Youth are surrounded by constant pressure to please people, whether it's at home, in the classroom or online.

Donahue calls it the two forms of government that rule behavior. The first form includes authority figures: parents, administration, teachers. The second: peers.

"The pressure is unbelievable (on kids)," he said. "It's image management. Kids have two images they're trying to protect."

How can adults help?

Learn to listen and offer unconditional support.

"They need to talk to you," Donahue said. "Sometimes, they're trying to protect you."

He suggests parents tell their children that nothing they say will alter your love or view of them. By talking about self-value and beliefs, parents can open the line of communication.

How does a school's culture change?

According to Donahue, it comes down to value. Once students examine their lives, they will be able to form a clear picture of how they see themselves.

He also believes youth need to value others and treat them with respect.

"Sometimes, it takes the popular kid to take a stand," he said.

Sometimes - to paraphrase from Harper Lee's "To Kill A Mockingbird" - you have to get off the porch and walk around in someone else's shoes to understand what they are going through.

Donahue met with Summerland staff members, Monday morning, during in-service training. He met with student groups throughout the remainder of the day and attended the Bobcats' basketball game in Plainview.