-Isms: Views on life in rural America

During a week when gratitude is at the forefront, it seems strange to be viewing and reading about toxic positivity. News about the psychological phrase is plastered everywhere, or so it seems.

ICYMI: Toxic positivity is defined as an excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of an optimistic state.

Toxic positivity creates a false narrative and minimizes interpersonal communication. The problem with always putting on a happy face is complicated and unhealthy. It's unnatural. Responding in that manner stifles raw emotion, creates feelings of guilt and adds stress. Who needs that?

Let's face it, though. It's okay to be sad, upset or crabby. Sometimes, it isn't what it is. And no, I'm not going to get over it. Having a bad day or week or month is part of life. How you react to those times makes all the difference.

The disconnect between positivity and negativity comes from a lack of empathy. During conversations, we pick up subtle clues disguised as sincerity. That's when self doubt creeps in. It feasts on negative undertones and creates havoc.

How do we silence toxic noise?

We need to reacquaint ourselves with empathy and expand our listening repertoire. Why? To paraphrase entrepreneur Gary Vaynerchuk, true positivity "tends to be quiet because it has internal strength to deal with the negativity." He said, "We have a world that is louder about bad and quieter about good."

Quiet (and occasionally, rambunctious) positivity thrives on understanding and a deeper sense of self-reflection.

Here are a couple examples. If your family takes turns offering gratitude prior to digging into turkey and all the trimmings, which type of positivity do you reply with: toxic or true? Do you dig deep to provide a positive example?

A running Thanksgiving gag in our family involves quoting lines from the movie, Arthur 2, featuring Dudley Moore and Liza Minelli.

"What are you thankful for?"

"I'm thankful for the smallest piece of meatloaf."

It's toxic, not the meatloaf. The answer doesn't require effort, even if it contains a sliver of truth disguised as onion. Right, Courtney and Amanda?

I hope this year, our responses are more heartfelt, more proof positive that life, even on a down day, can be good.

I started journaling again, primarily as a means of self-expression which does not need to shared with an audience. It's a great exercise to work through conflict, find common ground and establish empathy.

A few of this week's prompts require deep thought. Obvious responses come to light, but I know a stronger, thoughtful response will bring a powerful message. I'll list the prompts and, if you want to share your response, email [email protected].

Prompt one: One reason life is already great.

Prompt two: Someone whose presence makes life sweeter.

Prompt three: One beautiful reason to be happy right now.

This Thanksgiving, let our hearts be filled with both thanks and giving. If the holiday is a difficult one, may you land gently.