-Isms

How many lifequakes have you experienced?

After listening to Bruce Feiler on a podcast, and watching a segment with him on the Today show, I have to answer, “Quite a few.”

A lifequake is exactly what it sounds like: a crisis situation that shakes and rattles your life, causing a disruption.

Many times, the lifequake leads to a transition point in one’s life.

Feiler experienced three crises in his 40s. He was diagnosed with a rare bone cancer, experienced financial trouble during the recession and dealt with his father’s Parkinson’s disease and subsequent suicide attempts.

To help his father cope, Feiler sent him a question once a week for several years, asking questions about certain moments in his life. The questions were focused on one snapshot in time, like how did you meet mom or what was your graduation like?

The answers to those questions created a piecemeal autobiography and got Feiler thinking about life’s interruptions.

Lifequakes cause us “to rewrite the story of who we are,” Feiler said.

After interviewing others, Feiler compiled data and wrote, “Life is in the Transitions.” Here’s what he found:

• Every 12 to 18 months, we go through events that cause a disruption. I turn 59 Saturday, so using Feiler’s data, I’ve experienced between 39 and 59 disruptions. I’d say this is fairly accurate, although it seems like there may have been a lot more. I guess it depends if you sweat the small stuff or take life in stride. P.S. The latter becomes easier as you age. Trust me.

• One in 10 of the disruptions turns into a major lifequake. If my calculations are correct, since 2015, I have experienced five lifequakes. That seems like a lot of stress and a high number of major life events. My mom died from cancer while I held her hand. Three daughters got married (thank you for positive change). Dad had a near-death experience and moved into a care center. I lost my job and was given a one-day notice and I took those lemons and made lemonade by starting a business. Whew!

• Involuntary disruptions - like losing a job or being diagnosed with a medical condition - comprise 53% of moments, while voluntary lifequakes occur 47% of the time. Voluntary disruptions could include getting married or moving to a new location. Seems like a half-full, half-empty conundrum. I prefer to see the things as half (or completely) full.

Feiler’s coining of lifequakes is interesting, but we’ve learned about or seen life-altering changes since Adam and Eve ventured through the Garden of Eden.

What’s interesting, though, is pinning data - and law of averages - to a timeline. How you react to moments makes a difference.

So, I’ll ask again. How many lifequakes have you experienced?

Maybe it doesn’t matter. You can rewrite your story, begin a new chapter, at any time.