-Isms: Original views on life in rural America

We all have one, an area where our view is obstructed. A blind spot corresponds to a specific area in one’s eye that is insenstive to light, where the optic nerve connects with the retina. At that junction, an interruption distorts the normal pattern of light-sensitive rods and cones.

We also have a blind spot while driving, even though some of us do not want to admit it. It’s that tricky area to the side and slightly behind our field of vision that is not reflected in the rearview mirror.

Many of us have a blind spot, a subject we’re uninformed or have a prejudice about.

What’s your blind spot?

Many of us do not want to admit we have a blind spot, afraid it shows weakness or fear, how it changes our perceptions of reality. A perfect example: we twist what someone says because it’s what we want to hear. Why? Like Lizzo says, truth hurts.

I’ll ask again. What’s your blind spot?

I read the question while perusing Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper, an email newsletter meant to “inspire your heart and mind.”

I believe in transparency, so I am not afraid to share what I believe is my blind spot.

Fear of failure.

Yup. I am afraid to fail. Blame it on being the oldest child. Blame it on being an overachiever during school. Blame it on trying to please my parents all the time. Blame it on my competitive nature, but ...

I fear failure.

When I was a college freshman, my still-in-high-school sister told me it was exhausting to be my sister. I didn’t get it. Later, she told me I was an overachiever, basically saying I needed to learn to fail. Honestly, I was just doing what I perceived as normal. Nothing special. Just completing the task at hand, putting my best foot forward.

I didn’t really learn about failure until college, when I stood up for what was right and took a stand against an injustice and failed a class. Don’t compromise integrity; fight for what you believe in.

The next lesson about failure happened early in my speech coaching career. One of my students had placed in the top two at every meet throughout the season. Then, one Saturday, he didn’t break finals. I couldn’t believe it ... and ranted about it to my parents, who were still coaching speech in Clay Center.

“You need to learn how to lose,” Dad told me.

Ouch.

Those words stung. I kept hearing them throughout the remainder of the day. I took his words to heart.

I also refuse to fail. If something doesn’t go what I perceive as “right” the first time, I adjust and try again. And sometimes again and again. The goal line moves until I reach the level of perfectionism I have set.

How do you find clarity when the world seems murky?

Ask for feedback. Listen to other opinions. Check your behavior for patterns and think about what triggers your behavior.

The best advice for working through blind spots: open communication. When I feel fear creep over my shoulder, I turn to loved ones and vent ... and vent some more. Then I listen to their advice, take a deep breath and tackle the problem.

Author Junot Diaz said, “We all have a blind spot and it’s shaped exactly like us.”

How you handle it determines your future.