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Building Relationships
I have watched, listened, and examined the Ted Talk, "Every Kid Needs a Champion" by Rita Pierson, at least 50 times.
It may be the nerdy teacher in me, but I like to evaluate every piece of information the seasoned educator with a doctoral degree has to offer.
The core message Pierson offers is the crafting of relationships is key to success in not only the classroom, but in any child's life.
This message can be taken further than the four brick walls of the schoolhouse. Relationships are all around us, and they are critical to the way we operate in our daily lives.
In the opening line of her speech, Pierson offers a quote from James Comer: "No significant learning can occur without a significant relationship."
Have you ever thought about this? It seems so obvious when you first hear it, but when you speculate the sentence fragment, how many of us have actually considered the real-life application?
Relationships come in various forms and have different individuals involved; they can range from friends, teachers, coaches, parents, volunteers, community members, and everyone you work with in your daily life. Your involvement with the person could be minor or significant, but there is still a relationship.
No matter who you are, your life has been impacted by some type of relationship - negative or positive. However, if we do not develop positive relationships, there is not a strong foundation to build on.
If you listen further into the video - which I hope you do - you will hear a statement from one of Pierson's former colleagues, "They don't pay me to like the kids, they pay me to teach a lesson, the kids should learn it. I should teach it, they should learn it, case closed."
Pierson replied, "Well, I said to her, you know, kids don't learn from people they don't like."
How heart wrenching would it be if everyone had this mindset? The art of communication would be lost. If relationships did not matter, then human emotions would be impractical and unneeded.
I had a professor tell me at one point, "If a computer can be doing my job as a teacher, then I need to change my teaching style."
If relationships and raw human emotion were not needed, we all would be better off as computers or robots - emotionless and dead to the world.
So, why would you not want to build a relationship?
Well, they are a massive amount of work. When I was going through resident assistant training at the beginning of the school year, building relationships was a key focus. If we wanted our residents to feel like they belong on campus and in our hall, then we had to make sure we put the time and energy in to create lasting relationships with them. This is not an easy task. You dedicate a large amount of time focusing on ways to create a positive, engaging and inclusive dynamic on your floor.
However, the payoff of the positive relationships you make far outweighs the work and time commitment.
Believe it or not, there is a downfall to having such a commitment to relationships. If we are extremely dedicated and focused on the positive development of someone, it is easy to become hurt.
In my opinion, this downfall becomes a strength. If we care about a person so much that we can become hurt over a negative choice they make, it lets the other person know they have someone who is always supporting them.
Considering both the negative and the positive, I choose to focus on the positive. When it comes to building relationships, the lesson and focal point that always stick out in my mind is that it may be hard, but if you have the chance to positively impact and change the trajectory of someone's life, why not be that person?
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